A while back we discussed how porn affects your relationship. Today we look at overcoming this addiction with your partner. Overcoming your partners porn addiction needs to be addressed as an issue. According to Covenant Eyes an Internet Accountability and Filtering firm, an analysis of more than one million hits to Google’s mobile search sites, more than 1 in 5 searches are for pornography on mobile devices.A Pornography Survey conducted by Queendom, gathering data from more than 10,000 respondents, revealed that only 1% of men and 6% of women have never been exposed to porn. Queendom confirmed that the greatest consumers of porn are men; 28% of men claim to be exposed to porn almost every day. 27% engage several times a week and 24% only indulge themselves several times a month. Women were only 6%who view porn daily. 23% are exposed several times a month and 33% only take a peek several times a year! It seems evident that porn plays a significant role in sex affecting relationships and victims suffer in silence, it is time to end it and yes address the issue before it robs you of your partner.
While it is your partner’s responsibility to work through their addiction, it involves both partners to support one another. How can one stay sober in the midst of this trial ? I would like to suggest a few tips to support on overcoming your partners porn addiction.
1. Never blame yourself for it.
It is not uncommon to take personal blame and responsibility when you discover that your partner is active in porn. You begin to think you are not beautiful, that you are not sexy, or that you do not satisfy them sexually. No matter what happens always know that it is not about you. Pornography addiction is a process that mostly begins early in life and becomes a habit that is difficult to shake off in adult hood.
2. Yes, you are beautiful beyond description.
Make no attempt to compare yourself with the virtual woman; she is not real, she is an expert in her field of trade. Give yourself a look in the mirror and say to yourself, I am beautiful, I am valuable, I am good, I am fearfully and wonderfully created in the image of God. If your self-worth and self-esteem have ever had a bashing, it will be when you discover that your partner is a porn addict. Whatever you do you must affirm yourself. It is a good time to go for a beauty treatment; oh you will need some pampering just to make you feel good. Make this part of the routine; while you seek to support your partner overcome the addiction.
3. Seek to understand Pornography addiction.
We are in the 21st Century, where information is available at the click of a button! Google and read all you can about Porn addiction. You will get to understand that the person practicing porn, indeed has psychological disorder. Often the addict is exposed to abuse, could probably have grown up in a dysfunctional family where love, affection and attachment was elusive. Many become addicts from abuse by their peers, caregivers and live in shame and guilt. Gain understanding, determine your options and pursue them.
4. Confront the act “porn addiction” not your partner.
When confronted with a serious challenge, it is possible to become cynical and critical. While it is important to confront your partner’s addiction, how you do will determine how successful you become supporting him in the healing process. When all is said and done the relationship stands on the promise of “for better or for worse”, for sure this is a period of “worse”. A true test of your patience, endurance, long suffering and not holding on to a record of wrong will be tried beyond your wildest imagination. Stay calm, meditate, pray, seek help from a professional when necessary.
5. Ensure that you both seek professional help.
There are many treatment options available and what is important is the realization that “awareness is the heartbeat of therapy”.
6. Be True to yourself –Grief but move on.
It is not unusual to go through the process of loss and grief; what is important is not to stay in denial mode for too long. Face the reality of what confronts the relationship and be true to yourself. Has this behavior taken away the most precious thing in your relationship intimacy? Does your partner show commitment, accountability and sincerity, to the healing process? Can you handle it without compromising your wellness; is the relationship worth fighting for?Fight for your relationship and seek help, live, love and thrive because you deserve it!
Eunice says
Hi Jennie, i trust God has blessed you. that’s great stuff n encouraging.
one thing i would like to ask.. supposing the partner is uncooperative n wont listen to you even when you know hes addicted to porn.
Ken says
l feel for you and your husband.There are many documentaries/seminars on the subject which you can use to make him see the devastating effects of porn.l recommend Mark Gungor’s “Laugh your way to a better marriage”(4 hrs) which is on YouTube.Its hilarious & educative.Cook him a nice meal & watch it together.All the best.
sandy says
how do you deal with sex addiction in marriage?
Jennie Karina says
Hi Sandy , by seeking professional help and guidance . I can recommend a sexologist in this case .