Good sex takes effort and creativity, every couple is unique in their style and desires, and levels of fulfillment. While their chemistry has a great play in their sex life, health, age and lifestyles plays a major role in the fruitfulness. Our busy lives, high levels of stress, and careless lifestyles takes a toll on this precious God given gift that is so magical, precious and priceless resulting to damaged egos and dysfunctional relationships. “My partner is no longer interested in sex; he never initiates, shows no interest and is always tired. I have tried everything I know how and it simply does not seem to work, we continue to blame one another and I have had it, I would rather move on cause I feel unattractive, unwanted, unappreciated and yes rejected, it’s been one year since we were ever intimate and I cannot take it anymore! Its driving me crazy”!
Sex is not a topic that many partners address freely; many individuals shy away from even the mention of the three letter word, ”sex”, yes “sex” what do you call it in your mother toungue, I guess it’s even more difficult to pronounce the word! That’s fine with me, it simple means you are a normal human being. However, truth be told, Sex is a basic need and closing our eyes to free ourselves the shame of its mention is destroying our relationships.Let’s talk about it:
Acknowledge that u need to give yourself permission to completely experience sex and its pleasures, you deserve it, surely you do. That means you must let go of any hindrances, past experiences, guilt, self-consciousness, judgments and personal hang-ups. Enjoy the sex without pursuing an orgasm, because it brings with it performance anxiety and can be elusive. Feeling secure, in a relationship helps you to relax and enjoy a fruitful relationship.Talk to your partner about their desires, wants, wishes and even fantasies.
Adopting the right attitude will be helpful in order to enjoying great sex, one has to, feel safe, trusting their partner and getting over hang-ups, particularly past pains, betrayals, rejection, suspicions including unresolved conflicts. Growing up, often we are reminded of the dangers of sex and expected to automatically switch to being sexy when the time is right, without any preparation except may be, the bridal shower a few weeks to the wedding, if you were privileged! On the other hand we may have had some not so good experiences changing our perception to what is supposed to be a good thing. Here are a few tips to help you:
A gentle touch is a powerful language of love and it is said that a woman need to be touched at least 7 times a day, with the seventh touch being sex. Touching is one of the most highly effective and fulfilling things you can do for your partner. It helps connect in a profound and intimate way to others and ourselves. A gentle meaningful touch is powerful and communicates, care, desire building up to passionate sex.
A relaxing sensual massage should do it too unlocking one’s body to help in relaxing and should lead to great fulfilling sex. Bottom of Form the ability to relax your partner in this way should be of high importance, on your list to do list. Your touch communicates over-flowing love, tenderness, appreciation
and gratefulness, even if it does not result to sex, it helps in bonding and growing in intimacy. To get into that relaxed, tender and loving mood, it helps to focus on the other person and not yourself and your immediate needs. Most importantly, when you give the massage, enjoy it. If you are enjoying it, your partner will enjoy it too, because the rule is if you sow generously you shall reap in greater measure. Giving and receiving are complementary. Be selfless and give generously ……you will be pleasantly surprised because you will receive in abundance enjoying great fulfilling sex!
Next week we shall look at another language of love; Affirmation.
Kindly share your views.